August 2011
1 post
June 2011
3 posts
OHMYGOSH! WANT.
laboche:
halfboyfriend:
suckmyukebitch:
justcallmelhead:
Piggy bank.
WTF?! haha
OH MY GOD
oh hell yeah
May 2011
1 post
bad tattoos to get on your butt
zeekayart:
February 2011
3 posts
January 2011
4 posts
That awful feeling when you love talking to...
The Bone(r) Collector...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Real Answer: Pennies (at least I hope).
December 2010
1 post
3 tags
November 2010
6 posts
1 tag
October 2010
7 posts
September 2010
12 posts
2 tags
2 tags
Ridge Hall Computer Assistance.
Helpdesk: Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?
Customer: Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.
Helpdesk: What sort of trouble?
Customer: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
Helpdesk: Went away?
Customer: They disappeared
Helpdesk: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
Customer: Nothing
Helpdesk: Nothing?
Customer: It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type
Helpdesk: Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?
Customer: How do I tell?
Helpdesk: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?
Customer: What’s a sea-prompt?
Helpdesk: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?
Customer: There isn’t any cursor, I told you, and it won’t accept anything I type.
Helpdesk: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
Customer: What’s a monitor?
Helpdesk: It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?
Customer: I don’t know.
Helpdesk: Well then, look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?
Customer: Yes, I think so.
Helpdesk: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall.
Customer: ... ...Yes, it is.
Helpdesk: Well can you reach it?
Customer: Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle - it’s because it’s dark.
Helpdesk: Dark?
Customer: Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Helpdesk: Well, turn on the office light then.
Customer: I can’t.
Helpdesk: No? Why not?
Customer: Because there’s a power outage.
Helpdesk: A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?
Customer: Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
Helpdesk: Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
Customer: Really? Is it that bad?
Helpdesk: Yes, I’m afraid it is.
Customer: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
Helpdesk: Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.
3 tags
August 2010
38 posts
fucknicethings:
(submitted by imafish)
Cheaper Than a Cup of Joe: How to watch a movie... →
Pretend to have a nose bleed
Who cares if you look like an idiot, it’s dark in there. Plug the nose hole that’s closest to the person with the bad breath. If their breath happens to be on a terrorist alert level that day, go for the double plug.
Never hold the popcorn
I’ve noticed that words…
Ok, if you say so...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Later that night…
Teacher’s wife: “Honey it’s late, are you coming to bed?” Teacher: I’ll be up soon! Just got one more frickin paper to grade!!”
I don't get it... what's all the fuss about??
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Everyone’s been telling me to check out the Eclipse Trailer… how is this super hot and sexy??
“Your Big Toe: A device for finding furniture in the dark.”
– (via cheaperthanacupofjoe)
“Keys to a Successful Relationship:
It’s simple, you gotta let her know who’s...”
– (via cheaperthanacupofjoe)
like a boss
Numbers Don't Lie...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represented
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Then:
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
Christmas on a Budget...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Ditto… minus the electric bill.
LMAO
Text Messaging with my Asian Mom...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Mom: Where are you? Me: At the gas station. Mom: Can you get me some freebies? Me: What? Mom: The carpet is a stinky. Me: Oh, you mean febreze? Mom: Yes. Me: Ok. Mom: One more things. Do not put the 89 ok? Me: Why do you always say that? I always put in the cheapest gas. Mom: Better to be safe like Sally. Me: HAHAHAHA! You mean it’s better to be safe than sorry? ...
